She's a Keeper

Since Charley just turned three, it was time to take her in for a general check-up with a doctor, so several weeks ago I made an appointment for December 28th and started prepping Charley a couple days in advance. I simply explained to her that she was going to visit a really nice doctor who was going to talk to her, look in her ears and mouth, and make sure that she was healthy. At first she didn't want to go because she didn't want the doctor to give her a "shock" (i.e. a shot), but I promised her that she wouldn't be getting any shocks and that nothing would hurt. We had the same conversation several times (reassurance by repetition) regarding this visit, so by appointment time, Charley seemed pretty comfortable with the entire event.

In the past we've always just checked in for our appointment, and after being weighed and measured, she would see a pediatrician that would ask us a lot of questions about her development and would give her a physical exam. But right off the bat I knew things would be different here when the receptionist handed me a mountain of paperwork to fill out while we were waiting. Most of it was just routine stuff, but I was particularly fascinated with this form that I could immediately tell was some sort of pediatric development assessment. It was bright and eye-catching, with different shapes, colors, and pictures splashed all over it. It was a series of questions about Charley's development, like whether she knew the difference between a boy and a girl, whether she could dress herself, whether she could speak by grouping three or more words together, etc. The most interesting questions were those that required me to "test" Charley right in the waiting room, like seeing of she could identify colors, animals, emotions, draw a straight line, and whether she could jump over the question form on the floor without touching it with her feet (which turned out to be very entertaining for the other waiting patients). Charley just thought it was all fun and games, while I thought it was fascinating. The questionnaire actually stated very boldly at the top, "If you respond to any three of these questions with the answer "no" immediately stop filling out the form." I thought to myself, wow, what an AWESOME way to assess the development of a three year old! Are you sensing my sarcasm? I mean, I know I'm no doctor, but really, if my three year old happened to not be able to identify all the colors perfectly, or count out four pennies, or draw a straight line, is it really fair to tell me to give up and just quit filling out the form because OBVIOUSLY she's not where she should be? Boy, lucky for me, the only question I had to answer "no" to was the one that asked if Charley could stand on one foot without holding on to anything for at least three seconds, because to my dismay, she could only do it for TWO seconds. Oh Lord, there must be something wrong! Ha ha.

So, after filling out the mountain of forms and turning them in, I quickly realized that things were not going quite as smoothly as planned because Charley had an ever-so-slight accident in her underpants, so I had to sneak her off to the bathroom in between getting weighed and examined so that we didn't have to be embarrassed when the doctor came in. After getting cleaned up, we returned to the exam room and met the doctor, who turned out to be very nice but also very text book. You know the kind I'm talking about? Those doctors that are obviously very intelligent and can convey to you exactly what they've been taught along the way, but demonstrate no sort of common sense flexibility or intuition? It started with her very strong opinion on what type of milk Charley should be drinking. She sternly asked me, "Now you ARE giving her 2% milk, right?" I told her no, actually I was giving both Charley and my sixteen month-old son whole milk because that is what I was previously told to give them. She acted a little annoyed and said, "Oh no, you need to switch her to 2% because she does NOT need all that extra FAT." Oh please. Are you kidding me? I felt like saying, have you looked at my daughter lady? She eats like a horse but is skinny as a rail. At this point in her three year old life, I'm not too concerned about that extra four grams of fat per cup in her milk because she clearly isn't suffering because of it. Seriously, I just wanted to laugh. She continued to tell me that Zander CERTAINLY needs the whole milk, but Charley MUST drink 2%. Somebody please tell me, what happened fifty years ago when there was no such thing as all these different types of milk? Just to make sure I wasn't a complete moron, I asked my medical consultant (my friend Heather who is a Nurse Practitioner) about the milk thing, and she just laughed and said that she gives her boys who are two and four whole milk, which is perfectly fine. Yeah, that's what I thought.

After the whole milk debacle, the doctor continued to ask me some questions while inputting the information into the computer. During one of the doctor's long pauses, Charley and I had the following conversation (word for word), while Charley was looking out the window:

Charley: Mom, I see lot of cars out in the parking lot.
Danielle: Oh yeah, what color cars do you see?
Charley: I see a red one, a blue one . . .
Danielle: Do you see our car out there anywhere?
Charley: No, I don't think so.
Danielle: Can you think of what color our car is?
Charley: No, I can't remember what color our car is. Can you tell me?
Danielle: Remember it's sort of a gray color, and it's a van?
Charley: Oh yeah, a gray van. No, I don't see it out there.

Then the doctor interjects at this point to ask, "So, can Charley identify items, like point at the oven and identify it as an "oven," and point to the refrigerator and identify it as a "refrigerator?" Um, hello lady, did you not JUST witness the conversation with my daughter about identifying cars in the parking lot, where she talked about cars and colors and actually used the word "remember?" A few minutes later she turns to Charley and says, "So Charley, are you a little boy or little girl?" Charley tells her that she is a little girl. Then the doctor asks her if Zander is a little girl too, and Charley looks at her like she is a complete idiot (like only Charley can do) and says, "Uh, no, he's a little boy." I know the doctor was just testing Charley, but I think Charley and I were on the same wave length with these silly questions. :)

Okay, so I'm not REALLY complaining because despite these text books questions and responses, the doctor was extremely kind and gentle and made Charley feel very comfortable, particularly during the physical exam, which I know can be pretty scary for a kid. Charley just sort of stared at me with a nervous smile the whole time, but she behaved very well, and much of that can be attributed to the doctor's demeanor. She said that Charley is very healthy, doing very well, and bring her back in a year. Don't tell her, but I think we are going to stick with the whole milk for awhile.

Daily Dose

1. Charley told Hobie today that he was "not acting appropriate" when he started squirming under the weight of her heavy body sitting on him. Seriously, what three year old tells the dog he's being inappropriate?

2. Zander absolutely LOVES watching football on T.V. Today he spent much of the day sitting on Brian's lap watching Michigan State lose to Boston College. Our future athlete!

Success

Ah, another beautiful Christmas has passed and here we are on to a new year. To rewind a little, our Christmas Eve was fantastic, as we spent it relaxing during the day (which is something we haven't been doing too much of lately), and we attended our neighbor's party that evening. Everyone had fun, so much fun in fact that the kids passed out in our arms at the party around 8:00 p.m., so we headed home for a good night's sleep. I think it was about 7:30 a.m. Christmas morning before we all emerged from our bedrooms, which is pretty unusual in our house (Zander usually has us up at 6:30 a.m. or so). Before I go much further, I want to post a "before" Christmas morning shot of our house and an "after" shot.

Before:


After:


As you can see, after a little poking and prodding, the kids were successful in opening their presents. When we were coming downstairs from our bedrooms, Charley thought she was going to find Santa waiting for her by the tree. Since she fell asleep at the party the evening prior, we didn't get a chance to go over the whole Santa thing again one more time before she fell asleep . . . so things were a little hazy for her at first. But after realizing that there were a ton of presents to open, she quickly adopted the role of the elf and started handing out everyone's gifts. It took us a very long time to open all the stuff, not only because there were about a million presents (thanks in part to having five sets of grandparents), but also because the kids became very distracted by each gift and had a hard time moving on to the next. Mental note to self for next year: they probably don't need so many presents. So of course I have a million pictures to capture the day, but here are a few of my favorites.

Still in that morning fog . . . but hey look, a new broom!


Can't tear her away from her new book . . . just like her momma


You mean this isn't a real peanut?


Our little princess in her beautiful new shoes


One likes the coon skin cap . . .


And the other doesn't!


The pile is getting smaller . . .


Our future pilot


Winding down


After opening gifts and lounging around in our pj's for way too long, we headed over to Heather and Matt's house for the afternoon, where there was tons of food and tons of friends wandering in and out all day. Everyone had a great time, so I would say we had a pretty darned good Christmas this year. Oh yeah, and it didn't hurt that it was 80 degrees outside.:)

Happy Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas

Charley's birthday turned out awesome. We started the day off by opening the family gifts, which included some new clothes, the Shrek movie trilogy, a sticker book, a Leap Pad, a blue flower necklace, and this beautiful dollhouse that her Papa Ed bought her.

Here is an idea of what the decorations for her party looked like.

And here is my cake masterpiece, which is only impressive because as most of you know, I am NOT much of a cook . . . Blues Clues dog prints.

Once the party started, about twenty kids came to join the celebration. Our neighbors were kind enough to lend us this bounce house, which was a big hit with everyone.

After some bouncing and breaking open a pinata, it was time for cake.

Even at three, cake can get a little messy.

In the meantime, Zander found someone to flirt with . . . meet Lucy.

After things wrapped up, the kids decided to burn off some of the sugar by chasing each other around.

This morning, the kids decided to test out some of Charley's birthday presents.


This is evidence that Zander is just like Brian . . . more interested in the manual than the toy.

And here is a true action shot . . . me working on this blog right now.

So, it's Christmas Eve now, and from here on out, it's time to relax and enjoy the holidays. We are going over to our neighbor's house for a party this evening, and after that we will come home, put some cookies and milk out for Santa, put the kids to bed, and wait for his arrival. We are looking forward to tomorrow, seeing the looks on the kids' faces and watching them get excited about the whole affair. It sure is amazing how much more fun Christmas is again with kids in the picture . . . their joy and excitement, their innocence and happiness, it's all so contagious.

We would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas on this wonderful day. Amid all the excitement and chaos, don't forget to say a special prayer this evening, thanking God for sending His son to be born on this special day and for all the blessings that we share. God Bless to you all!

The Key to Staying Youthful?

Danielle: "Charley, you are doing great with going pee-pee in the potty, but you have to try and go poo-poo in the potty too. You are going to be three tomorrow, and when you are three you are a big girl and can't keep going poo-poo in your underpants."

Charley: (sigh) "Yeah, or else I can't be three anymore."

In the home stretch . . .

We are almost there. The sod is done, the yard is ready, the house is almost clean, the cakes are baked, the laundry is done, the presents are wrapped, birthday gifts are assembled, and all that is left for today is cleaning the floors (which will happen when the kids go to bed) and a quick trip to the grocery store (which may not be so quick depending on the crowds). The only blip in the whole plan is that I managed to get an eye cold, which meant a trip to the doctor and pharmacy yesterday and a bit of discomfort and having to wear my glasses. But if that's the worst of it, then no biggie.

I'm hoping to have some time to post some birthday pictures after Charley's party, before Christmas . . . but if for any reason I don't get than chance, Merry Christmas to you all from the Palm Family!

Birthday + Christmas = Craziness

As most of you know, December 23rd is Charley's birthday. December 24th is Christmas Eve. December 25th is Christmas. While this is merely three days in the grand scheme of things, preparing for these three days has taken weeks. And this week is particularly busy, as I'm sure it is for everyone.

I had so many things to do this week, that I had to come up with a schedule. It's hard to believe that even though I'm not even working right now, I still have to come up with a schedule to organize my time. Maybe the kids make things busier? That's what I keep telling myself anyway. If nothing else, they make all these menial tasks more time-consuming and chaotic. The portion of my list that I've completed so far includes grocery shopping for Charley's birthday and Christmas (yes, grocery shopping with two little kids is absolutely NO fun), finding party favors for Charley's party (which included three different trips to three different stores), last bit of Christmas shopping for Brian and wrapping his gifts, wrapping gifts for a Christmas Eve party at our friends' house, baking some Christmas cookies, laundry, and cleaning up some of the mess outside from Brian's yard project. And what's left? Cleaning my entire house, assembling Charley's birthday gift, baking and decorating Charley's cake, preparing food for the party, and decorating for the party. And this is just MY list.

The good news is that Brian (along with some help from his buddy Robert) got all the sod laid down in the yard, so we are hoping the yard will be in good enough shape for all the little kiddos (all 20 of them) on Sunday. However, he still would like to put up a gate on the steps in the backyard, clean up all his yard gear, haul some garbage to the dump, assemble Charley and Zander's new swing set, and hopefully help me with the birthday present assembly. Oh, and he only has one day to do all this (tomorrow) because he has duty at work today and Saturday. Hopefully I'm married to Superman!

Can anyone think of anything I'm missing?

Alternative Occupation

Danielle: "Okay Charley, I have a VERY important job for you."

Charley: "Okay Mommy."

Danielle: "I need you to hold these car keys for me. We are leaving the store now, I have no pockets, and I have to carry Zander, the backpack, and our bags. So it's a very important job for you to hold these keys until we get to the car, okay?"

Charley: (yelling in an annoyed tone) "But THAT is not my job!!! My job is NOT to hold car keys!!!"

Danielle: "Well, then what is your job Charley?"

Charley: "Just to go to the car. That is my ONLY job."

Danielle: (thinking to myself) Only fifteen more years to go . . .

Thanks Joe

I'm having a Blue's Clues birthday party soon. I really wanted Joe from Blue's Clues to come. I asked mommy if he could come. She said she would check. Today Joe sent me this email:

Dear Charley,
Your mommy sent me a very special note and told me about your Blue's Clues Birthday Party. I sent you a birthday card, but I wanted to send you a message, too. Thank you for inviting me to your party! I really appreciate that. You are one of my favorite fans. I can't come to the party, though, because I am stuck in New York City. Have you seen how much snow has fallen in New York recently? Whew! I hope Santa will be able to see the chimneys...we're just buried in snow! How's the weather in Hawaii? You are a lucky little girl to live in such a great state. You have a great 3rd birthday, Charley! Keep watching Blue's Clues, okay?
Love,Joe

Thank you Joe for the nice email. Don't worry. I'm not sad that you can't come to my party. And I promise to keep watching you on T.V. You are the best!

Busy Doing Nothing

Do you ever feel like all you have been doing is go, go, go, and then when you have a moment to slow down and think about what you've been doing, it doesn't seem like you did a whole lot? That is how I'm feeling right at this moment. I know that I have FELT busy lately, by as I sit here and wrack my brain trying to think about the past few days and what we've been up to, I can't think of much.

Brian took four days of vacation last week, but all the poor guy did was work on the yard. When we first decided to replace the grass in the back yard, we got a quote from a local landscaper that was WAY more than we wanted to spend. So Brian decided to do it himself to save a few dollars, but I think in retrospect, he would rather have just paid someone to do it. He has spent an endless amount of man hours killing off our old grass, removing the old grass, and prepping the soil for the new grass. We can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, though, because all that is left is rolling the new soil as flat as possible and laying the sod. And we are keeping our fingers crossed that this will get done by Sunday for Charley's birthday party. Otherwise, all those poor little kids will be stuck inside our small house!

Here's what Brian has been doing:





On Friday we attended Brian's work Christmas party at the Hale Koa, a hotel downtown near Waikiki Beach. We got all fancied up, dropped the kids off at Heather's house, and enjoyed a nice evening out. The dinner was pretty good and the company was fun, but we were bummed that we didn't win any of the awesome prizes that they were doling out, like IPods and flat screen TV's. It was nice to have an evening out, though, and even more awesome was how peaceful and quiet Heather had things at our house when we came home. Once again, I owe you one Heather!



Today the kids and I ran downtown with Heather and her kids for some browsing and shopping, followed by lunch and some kiddie rides at the Navy Exchange. The rest of the day we just relaxed and hung out at home, while Brian was busy standing duty at work.

All in all, nothing too exciting, but still, it feels like a lot.

We Were Elfed

A few people have recently sent us emails telling us they had been "elfed," and every time we see it, we cannot help but laugh (don't worry, we are laughing WITH you, not AT you). So, we thought we would spread some holiday cheer, and give you a chance to laugh at the Palms. Check it out by clicking on the following link. :)
The Palm Elves

Birthday "Blues"

Long long ago, Charley decided that she wanted a "Blue's Clues" birthday. As some of you may know, Blue's Clues is a show about a blue puppy who uses clues to tell her friend, Joe, what she wants and he has to figure out what the clues mean. Frankly, I'm a bit surprised that she chose Blue's Clues because she is seemingly much more obsessed with Dora, Diego, Mickey Mouse, and the Wonder Pets . . . but whatever my princess wants for her birthday, she can have. And, thankfully for me, a local party store carries a good amount of Blue's Clues birthday supplies.

Here is my problem: Charley is absolutely ADAMANT that she wants Blue's friend, Joe, to be at her birthday party. I've tried explaining as nicely as I can that it's just a show and that Joe is just a character, but when I see the look on her face while I'm trying to explain this, I feel like I'm telling her that Santa isn't real and he isn't coming to her house anymore. This is Joe:


We only know one person named Joe. And Joe lives in Arkansas. So the only feasible alternative to breaking my little girl's heart? Joe, in Arkansas, you are going to have to come to Hawaii next weekend, wear an orange v-neck sweater, tell Charley Happy Birthday while giving her a "thumbs up," and help her look for some clues. That's my only way out.

Is she really only turning 3??

Danielle: Charley, did you have an accident in your underpants?

Charley: (hiding behind her slide and peeking out with one eye) No.

Danielle: Are you sure? Because it's okay if you did, I just need you to tell me the TRUTH. Remember what "the truth" is? It means that if you didn't go potty in your pants, you just tell me "no", but if you did go potty in your pants, you need to tell me "yes."

Charley: Yeah, because if I did, then you could just DEAL with it. Right mommy?

Danielle: (thinking to myself) Where the heck does she get this stuff?!? Oh yeah, that's right, she is MY daughter.

"Daily Dose"

This whole blog thing is definitely a learning process and a work in progress. I've had several people tell me that they would like to start their own blog, but they just aren't sure they have enough to say. Let me tell ya, even someone as wordy and blabber-mouthed as me doesn't necessarily have much to say every single day. So I decided to start something I think I'm going to call "Daily Dose" (unless I think of a better name along the way) for those really slow days, where I don't have a whole lot to say except for maybe a small thing or two. So here is my "Daily Dose" for today:

1. Zander has decided to head-butt everything . . . the couch, the dog, his sister, my head, and most painfully today, my stomach. It felt like someone dropped a bowling ball on my gut.

2. Charley lied to me for the first time EVER yesterday. I'm bummed, as I was hoping we could make it a little longer without it.

Happy Birthday Brian!

That's right, it's Brian's birthday today . . . wow, 35 years old! I thought I would be sneaky and put up this VERY cute picture of Brian when he was just over a year old, as well as a recent picture of him . . . boy, he's hardly changed a bit. :)

Yesterday I asked Brian what he wanted to do today, that he could plan the whole day . . .we could go to the beach, go for a drive, do nothing and relax, whatever he wanted. He said that honestly all he wanted to do was till the yard. Brian is one of those people who cannot stand to have unfinished projects laying around, especially when he sets his mind to something. He really wanted to take advantage of his next few days off and try and get the yard finished. So, as we speak, he is out there tilling. But don't worry, we are going out to dinner tonight at one of his favorite establishments, the Outback, where he will gorge on steak, beer, and cake, so that will be a nice way to end the day.

This morning when I got up with the kids, I reminded Charley that today was Daddy's birthday, so she had to wish him a Happy Birthday when he woke up. When he finally got up, I said "Charley, do you remember what today is?" She thought about it a second, and said, "Yeaaaa, our Baby Hui group!!!!!!" Um, yeah, that too but it's Daddy's birthday, remember? Once I reminded her of this, she was excited because she had colored him a picture and bought him a meat smoker, so she was dying to give him these items. In fact, she tried giving him these things several times over the past few days, but I had to remind her that we had to wait until today.

So, it's finally here, Happy Birthday Brian!

Catching Up

I am a little bit behind in posting about what we've actually been up to this past week, partly because we have been so busy and partly because Brian has been working a lot, so I haven't had much time to spend on the computer. So, here is the low down . . .

Finally, the ever-so-anticipated visit to Santa arrived. In order to keep Charley distracted from the inevitable Santa lap, I sat down with her beforehand and we created a written Christmas list for her to give Santa. I guess I hoped that focusing on the task of handing Santa the list would detract from the fact that we were shoving her on this old guy's lap for a picture. We were the first people in line, so we were excited that we weren't going to have to wait too long. However, to our dismay, the camera folks were not ready to go before Santa arrived (they wouldn't even let him sit in his chair), so he had to stand around for a few minutes and came right over to the line of kids to visit. Charley IMMEDIATELY handed him the list while peeking around the back of my legs. We knew we were definitely in trouble now because our distraction was gone. As soon as the camera-takers were ready, I approached them and asked them to take the picture no matter what, that they were likely NOT going to get any kind of smiles from my kids and were likely going to be witnessing some tears, so just take the picture regardless of the state of my children. They laughed and said those kind were the best. So, each with a child in hand, Brian and I headed for Santa and peeled the kids from their death-like grips on us. Charley immediately started crying, although I have to admit, it wasn't the complete hysteria we were used to in the past. Zander just looked confused at first, but when he realized that Charley was crying, he started crying too. So, this is where things ended up:


Not so bad, huh? Well, not as bad as last year anyway.

So that was last weekend. Much of the past week we were stuck inside because we have been getting nailed with storms and rain. In fact, Tuesday night the storms were so bad that the power to much of the island was out (thank God not us), many areas were flooded, and several roads were closed. As a result, most schools were closed and many businesses were closed, including my friend Heather's work, so we got the kids together and hung out. I told the kids that this was as close to a "snow day" as they were going to get for awhile, but I don't think they quite got it.

The rain continued to reap havoc. For the past couple months the kids have been part of a play group, organized by our local community center, which is held every Friday morning. This past Friday was supposed to be our final get-together, and the plan was to meet at the Honolulu Zoo for a potluck. But, we were rained out. So instead, we headed over to the Ala Moana Center, which is probably the biggest mall I've ever been to. It's four stories and has over 260 stores/restaurants . . . pretty big for a hick from Montana! We met Heather and the kids there, and we all went through Santa's village, where Charley safely waived at Santa from a distance. Once was enough I guess.

Yesterday was the Air Station's children's Christmas Party, and it was definitely the best kids' party I've been to. It was held at the Air Station in a nice area designated for parties. They had a bounce house, several craft tables, shaved ice, and TONS of food for everyone. But the best part was Santa and his arrival. Here are the kids posing by the tree before Santa came. As you can see, Charley is already enjoying the shaved ice.


Shortly after I took this picture, we heard a loud noise above our heads. We looked up, and there was a Coast Guard helicopter hovering right over the party, and the coolest part was that Santa was in the helicopter waving at the kids. After circling around the Air Station a few times, the helicopter landed over by the hanger, so all the kids and parents sprinted from the party area to the landing area to greet Santa.




After hugging all the kids, Santa joined everyone back at the party where he passed out presents and pictures were taken. Inspired by several other parents, and to avoid the usual crying fit from the kids, I decided to sit on Santa's lap too, which seemed to make everyone a bit calmer.


The Christmas party was a blast and everyone had a good time. Unfortunately, Brian got called out on a rescue flight, so he was not able to attend with us. But hopefully he will be able to join in the excitement next year.

So I guess that is about it. Brian is back at work again tonight, but starting on Tuesday (which is his birthday) he is supposed to be on leave for four days. I'm afraid it won't be much of a break for him, though, because he plans on spending his time off finishing our lawn. When we got here, we HATED the grass that was planted in our backyard. It was very thick, scratchy on our feet, and seemed to harbor a lot of insects. We decided to replace the grass with something more kid friendly, and we were hoping to have this project completed over Thanksgiving weekend while my Dad was here. But the rain has really been holding things up, so hopefully soon we will have our yard back soon. Keep your fingers crossed!

Our Future Lawyer

Yesterday I was trying to load the kids into the car, but Charley was jumping around all over the place inside the car and not listening to my repeated requests to get in her car seat. So, after about the third request, I started to raise my voice just a little, to let let her know that I was beyond politeness and almost crossing the line into irritated. She must have finally realized I was serious because she eventually climbed into her seat. However, as soon as she climbed up there, she looked at me with her bossy, serious, "big girl" look (looking at me like I'm a complete idiot, similar to the one pictured here), and said with the utmost amount of confidence,

"Look Mom, here is the question. Now you can't yell at me, you can't scream at me, you can't yell at me, and you don't get any plants."

Uh, yeah, okay Charley, because that makes complete sense. I TOTALLY understand what you are getting at. But I don't think that argument is going to win your case in any courtroom.

A Complicated Family Tree

Charley: Mommy, I have lots of papa's. I have FOUR papa's.

Danielle: Actually Charley, you have FIVE papa's.

Charley: Oh yeah, one-two-three-four-five papa's.

Danielle: Yes, you have five papa's, three grammy's, and one nana.

(long pause, long pause, as Charley looks deep in thought . . . )

Charley: (holding up two fingers) Yeah, and two chickens.

New Arrival

Who: Andrea, one of my best buds and Charley & Zander's godmommy
What: gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy, Macsen ("Max"), 8.5 lbs., 20.75inches
When: very early this morning
Where: Montana

Congrats to the new proud parents, Seth and Andrea!! Oh, and Brian wanted me to tell you, "Welcome to the rest of your lives." I know, he's such a comedian. :)

A New Job

After much thought and consideration, I decided to finally post about something that many of you have recently asked me about, something that a few of us have discussed, but something that most of you may not know the answer to . . . that is, the big question, do I plan on going back to work anytime in the near future?

If you would have asked me this question six months ago, I know exactly what I would have told you. Definitely YES, as soon as possible. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't enjoy being with my kids, or that I think there is anything wrong with staying at home because there is NOT. In fact, I agree with the idea that staying at home is often much harder than going to work. But I just simply would have told you that I loved my job in Arkansas and was hoping to find something similar out here, something stimulating and interesting but also family-friendly and flexible. I would have also told you that I have made a lot of good friends at work in years past and was hoping to do the same here. I would have also told you that I was just MEANT to work, that nine years of college, three degrees, and lots of student loans meant that I was supposed to earn my place in the professional world. I would have told you that I was simply not built to stay at home, that I probably wouldn't find peace and satisfaction and joy in doing this, NOT because these things can't be found at home but because this just wasn't who I was. I know this may be hard to understand considering how much I love my children and how much I love being with them, but I guess I just assumed above all that I simply lacked the patience and skill that it requires being at home all day with the kids, trying to create a warm, comfortable, and joyful home. I just didn't think I could it and be happy.

When we got here and did a bit of research, we had a huge awakening when it came to how practical it would be for me to work here right away. First, there was the child care issue. I won't go into all the details, but suffice it to say that there is a huge shortage of good child care options in our area, and the few places around that were decent had long waiting lists and were expensive. In fact, our best option, a local preschool that takes kids full time won't even take them until their two years old, so we quickly figured out that I would be home at least a year until Zander turned two. The second issue was our location. We live about 20 miles from downtown Honolulu, which in rush hour means an hour to an hour and a half commute each way. Unfortunately, all the law firms, courthouses, and government buildings are located downtown, so inevitably I would have to find a job down there which means a hellacious drive every day. And I'm just not up for it. Brian's schedule is much more demanding here, so I would mostly be on my own picking up and dropping off the kids. If I got stuck in traffic on my way home, which I've heard happens pretty frequently, we would consistently be in a tight spot. I'm also not excited at the prospect of the kids being at daycare for that long everyday. Lastly, there is also the issue of the cost of childcare versus average wages here. Needless to say, childcare costs are very high and don't seem to match what I would likely be earning, so basically I would be working simply to pay for daycare, with only a little left over. It just hardly seems worth it. So, all these practical factors combined seemed to suggest that I would have to stay at home, at least for awhile. But, by the time we really figured this all out, my perspective had started to change too, in some pretty significant ways.

First, as most of you know, both my kids spent a great deal of time being sick when they were in daycare. Charley's illnesses were a bit more routine I suppose, although we did suffer through endless ear infections and three sets of tubes in her ears before we moved. And Zander, where do I even start? Zander caught every single bug that ran through daycare, which landed him in the hospital twice before he was even six months old (pneumonia and staff infection). It sort of became a running joke at the daycare, where I begged the daycare workers not to call me unless things were REALLY BAD. Zander's immune system was pretty run down by the time we left, almost to the point that his doctor was considering testing him for an immune deficiency. I know that it's supposed to build up their immune systems and all, and there are a lot of other great things about daycare. But truth be told, I don't miss the doctor visits and hospital stays, the debate in the morning of who is in the best position to take the day off, and how miserable the kids felt. And Zander's immune system has finally recovered. Both kids have been very healthy since we moved here, and we've been loving it. The kids have not been to the doctor for any non-routine visits since we've been here, and for people who had the pediatrician on speed-dial and went to the doctor at least twice a month, this is such a relief.

Second, for once I don't feel like I'm missing out on things . . . you know, all those baby firsts? I was always keeping my fingers crossed hoping that neither child would do anything spectacular at daycare, like roll over or take their first steps, because I didn't want to miss it. Now I get to watch them do everything, and I get to be such a huge part of that every day. I've come to realize that I have the opportunity to witness a very special time in their lives, one that I will never get back. They have both changed so much just in the short time I've been home, much of which I know is just normal growing, but I know a lot of it is because I've been here with them instead of somewhere else. Not only do my kids need as much time as I can give them right now, but I need as much time as they can give me.

Third, simply put, after much thought and many prayers, right now I just want to be at home with the kids. I find myself much more relaxed and not feeling so stretched thin all the time. I don't feel so rushed, like there is always something else I need to be doing. I have tapped into a new level of patience that I never knew was possible for me. I have gotten to know my kids in a way that I did not know I was missing. I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at this moment in time. Don't get me wrong, as many of you may know, staying at home isn't a big bed of roses all the time. It's exhausting, it's a lot of work, sometimes it's boring, sometimes it's frustrating, and sometimes I feel like I don't have one ounce of patience left at the end of the day. But, like anything, it's a matter of whether the good outweighs the bad, and there is no doubt in my mind that the pros of staying home right now far outweigh the cons.

Of course, it's not like I just magically came to this conclusion and therefore that's just what it is. Throughout this entire thought process, I was trying as best as I could to convey to Brian what I was thinking and feeling. Obviously there are a lot of factors to consider, such as the financial ramifications, social implications for both myself and the kids, and simply my sanity (which Brian is always worried about anyway :)). In the end, however, probably not surprising to anyone, Brian was completely supportive of whatever decision I made. His main concern was that the kids have enough social interaction in their lives, and fortunately, there are a TON of kid-related activities that we can be involved in around here. Already we have participated in swimming lessons for Charley, a baby group for Zander (see my previous post on Baby Hui), and an organized play group at the local community center for both kids. Plus, there are lots of kids in our neighborhood and we have lots of Coast Guard friends with kids, so there is no shortage of options as far as the kid activities go. And as for my own sanity, Brian is awesome about giving me any time I need away from the house and kids, whether that means running to the bookstore by myself or going to the weekly women's Grey's Anatomy nights. So kudos to Brian!

Now I don't want this to come across as my opinion on the working mom versus stay-at-home mom debate, because that is NOT what this is about. Now that I've experienced both worlds, I've had the opportunity to experience the pros and cons of each world, and I still don't think their is a universal right or wrong answer to which is best for every family. Every family is different, and every family has different needs at different times. So, while one option may work for one family, it may not work for another. All I'm saying is that for our family, this is where I need to be right now, at this moment.

And none of this is to suggest that I am definitively saying I will not work for the next four years while we are here. Who knows, maybe if the right opportunity to work presented itself, I might jump on it. Maybe eventually I can find some work to do at home. Or maybe once the kids are both old enough for the two and three day-a-week preschool program (which won't be for another couple years), maybe I could work part time. Or maybe I will eventually find a good job close by (a new courthouse is being built in our town). Who knows what will happen. But for now, just for now, we have decided that I will stay at home with the kids. And, right now, I'm pretty okay with that.

I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to hang out with these two crazy kids?

Baby Hui

A few months ago, my neighbor approached me and said that she was hosting a group called Baby Hui and asked if I wanted to join. Baby Hui is a statewide non-profit organization, and individuals volunteer to host and lead their own Hui groups at their homes. Our group consists of moms with babies that were born in 2006, and each Tuesday we get together and talk about a specific issue, such as nutrition, development, etc. I decided it would be a great way to meet some other stay-at-home moms, it would be fun for the kids to get together with other kids each week to play, and it would also be a good way to hear other people's stories and experiences with their children.

So, today was Baby Hui, our seventh week in fact (we only have a few left) and the topic of discussion was discipline. It was definitely interesting to hear everyone's perspective on this, especially because our group consists of ladies with very different cultural backgrounds. And, as usual, the kids had a great time. Once again, I really lucked out, and have found a way to meet some other great people here, while simultaneously finding an activity that the kids enjoy participating in. So, thanks Lena!

One of the ladies at Baby Hui brought her camera to the meeting a couple weeks ago and took these awesome photos of the kids. I know I'm biased, but they just look so stinkin' cute!!

Girls' Night

For the first time in a long time, I had the chance to go out for a REAL girls' night this weekend, one that included actual dinner out a restaurant, a show, and NO KIDS in the next room. It was awesome!

Thanks to the organizing efforts of Heather (the friend from Montana down the street) a group of eight of us women left our husbands and kids at home at the early hour of 5:30 p.m., and started out our evening by having dinner at a local Italian restaurant, Auntie Pastas. After a yummy and peaceful (i.e. no kids) dinner, we headed to the theatre at Fort Shafter to see "Fiddler on the Roof." The show started at 7:30 p.m., and I swear that by 9:00 p.m. we were officially a pack of old ladies, because we were all yawning, nodding off, and counting the minutes until intermission. At intermission we all stood around outside, yawning and hoping that the night air would wake us up a bit, and we all whined about how tired we were. I heard that a couple ladies even officially fell asleep during the first part of the show. Don't get me wrong, it was nothing about the show itself that caused our inability to stay awake, but simply the fact that we are all a bunch of old boring moms who aren't used to staying up until such a "late" hour. Pathetic, huh? So, we all dragged ourselves back in the theatre after intermission, and truth be told, I really enjoyed the show . . . the acting was awesome, the sets were well done, and even though the story was a dark one, it was entertaining and kept my attention the entire time. So, I really enjoyed my night out, and look forward to hopefully doing it again soon.

We have officially entered the rainy season (a/k/a "winter") here in Hawaii, so we've been laying low this weekend, watching football (yeah for the UH Warriors, sad for UW Huskies, sad for Chicago Bears, and sad for the GB Packers) and enjoying the rainy weather, even though it's still in the 80's everyday. We are trying to capture the feeling of Christmas time as much as possible here, such as putting up a Christmas tree and decorations, burning a pumpkin spice Yankee candle, watching Christmas shows (like the Grinch and Charlie Brown), wrapping gifts, and listening to Christmas music, but it still doesn't quite feel like Christmas. Any suggestions?